Win Land of Kings Festival Tickets

Land of Kings, is Dalston’s annual cross venue music and events festival happening on Friday 4th and Saturday 5th May 2012. The festival incorporates 15 Dalston venues over 2 nights with a smorgasbord of live music, film, interactive art and DJs on offer. Now in it’s fourth year, Land Of Kings is a fantastic chance to experience the vibrant Dalston scene in full force. Our friends at the Land of Kings festival have offered yeah! Hackney readers a chance to win a pair of tickets for the weekend. To be in with a chance of winning, complete tell us in the forum thread below: What would you do if you were king of Dalston for a day This competition is running for 24hours, so get your answers in quickly. To find out more about Land of Kings head over to our blog post: or the Land of Kings website: The small print » The closing date is 12 noon on Tuesday 1st May 2012» You will need to be a member of yeah! Hackney to enter but sign up is super quick and you can do that over  here» The best answer will be chosen by The Land of Kings team» Entrants name and email will be passed onto The Land of Kings team for the purposes of correspondance related to the competition”


  1. So King of Dalston, well straight away I would put a big \Welcome to Dalston” sign up at the border (and would probably need to define that first of all) so people can stop refering to the 5 mile radius around Kingsland Station as londons trendy Dalston”

  2. I’d buy everyone new clothes so they could stop wearing all that badly fitting second hand stuff.

  3. As King-ess for a day, which I would decide would be the same week-end as the LoK festival, I would close the whole of the Kingsland road to traffic, would set up tables and chairs the length of the road, and organise a Big Lunch style food fest. This way, LoK would become a festival open to all ages and communities, with each participant bringing something delicious to contribute to the table. Having spent all afternoon eating and being merry, we could then dance it all off through the night, as per regular LoK programme.

  4. As King of Dalston, I would firstly not want to be \Queen” just because of my gender and to solidify this I would periodically wear a bow tie or a fake curly moustache. Actually I might just take fashion cues from James Earl Jones’ character in Coming to America. I would hold secret meetings of matters concerning state affairs in The Stone Cave and periodically hold court in Somine. Particularly if it is 3 am and I need to counteract a night of drinks with some food. If I would need to leave my realm my preferred mode of transport would be a specially outfitted double-decker kitted with a small lift so I will never fall down the stairs of the 149 on a rainy day wearing slippery shoes again. This double-decker will also be magically not smell of piss or fried chicken. I will utilise a number of rooftops for gardening and put the people at Farm: in charge of this. Complete with chickens too. Maybe not the fish though as I’m not too into aquaculture. The folks at Ridley Road market will pay me a tithe consisting of plantains and suspect electronics. As King of Dalston I will also use my power to cut into the front of the queue at Ali Baba particularly when an annoyingly privileged customer is trying to take the piss out of the staff. I shall also enact my powers to expel such riff-raff from my realm perhaps exiling them to areas where dickhead hipsters would atrophy like flowers devoid of water and sun. I would also get to hang out at all the Turkish men’s clubs just because I am king and get to play dominoes at 5 am and drink Turkish tea. Finally I shall have a special arrangement where Bird café will bring me coffee and sandwiches as needed at my royal residence which I shall not disclose in fears of assassins from the Duke of Shacklewell.”

  5. If i was King of Dalston i would secede from England and align all political and public decisions with the Pirate Party.

  6. This competition closes at 12 noon today, don’t forget to get your answers in!

  7. If I was King of Dalston I would make sure that my kingdom be funded on music! Just musicians and music passionates (real ones) could populate my kingdom and there d be jem sessions every day and every night! MY KINGDOM WOULD BE PHYSICALLY BOUNCING!!!

  8. If I were King of Dalston for a day, I would resurrect the Four Aces Club in all its former glory.

  9. It would be all about sympathising with the locals for me. Elevate their status somehow, and bring them some relief from the influx of kids that must have had a hugely disruptive effect on their day to day lives. Although it is probably completely hypocritical, there is not a day goes by where I do not sympathise with a genuine local having their part of town upturned by Londons supposedly coolest kids.

  10. If I were King of Dalston for a day my first aim would be to find a Queen because Dalston needs a feminine touch. Kingsland Road has improved of late but I think a feminine eye would see there’s a lot that could still be done to improve the aesthetics. No sensible woman would have let that ridiculous bus garage work drag on for so many years – those workmen clearly need a good woman to kick them into shape. Long live Queensland Road…?

  11. Will my ballot offering be discounted if I subvert the honorific to ‘Queen for a day’? I’d like to spend the day cementing the inclusive, non-discriminatory focus of the less corporate-materialist haven of London. Would arrange a pageantry with Coronation type seating caterpillaring right along from Hasidic Stamford Hill caterpillaring along Kingsland road to the City gates at Shoreditch. All the pallid dive bar licencees would be obliged to open their doors and blink thick-black framedly into the Mayday light for a beard competition, with the winner being charioted by the street revellers tippling on hopsy concoctions brewed by  and on a pimped Brompton parade courtesy of the heavenly helpful Heavenscycles down that alley beside Cafe Oto over from the Junction station. Then we would all dance to drum n bass that as kids of the nineties we are all too old for in Moustache Bar and dance on a pole in Alibi and we wouldn’t mind that the scribbly script entry stamp wouldn’t come off as we had a time innit.”

  12. The competition is now closed. Thanks for all the fantastic entries!! :)We will announce the winner soon.

  13. Our friends at Land of Kings have chosen …… @bonesrocksWell done!! 🙂 They will be in touch with you about your prize. \They were all awesome entries – we loved reading them. We picked her because if her answer was made a reality it would be an awesome way to bring everyone in the area together and have a right old knees up – which is what the whole festival is about. it seemed to capture the area’s creativity diversity and gung-ho attitude to having fun and bring everyone together in the spirit of what a festival should be about.” Thanks to @dogwonder @jamiekeddie @saladefolle @quitepeculiar @marcushickman @seretrouble @stephenhignell @littlemench @sosjones for your entries”

  14. Thanks, well chuffed!! Think it was dual inclusion of caterpillar references that swayed it 😉

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