Crap pub crawl

Beer & ale drinkers

I’m putting together a list of the less desirable pubs in Hackney, with the view of going on a crap pub crawl. I only ever go in the trendy ones, and so want to rectify this. So far I have, The Albion, The Wishing Well, The Windsor Castle, The six tits (3 sisters) and the Wetherspoons in Hackney central #pubs

56 Comments

  1. I have been to the Windsor Castle 3 times for some reason, the last time I went someone tried to start an argument with me, I thought they might beat me up! :S

  2. The Crooked Billet in Clapton, should be on this crawl. The Railway tavern in Dalston, the Kingsland in Dalston, and The Three Compasses on Dalston Lane, end of Ridley Road.

  3. The Adam and Eve on Homerton high street is massive and has cool lights – although the beer is a bit ropey. I would complete avoid the Jackdaw and Stump.

  4. Have you read the beerintheevening reviews of the Adam and Eve – hilarious, makes it sound like the worst pub ever.

  5. I have always fancied going in The Crooked Billet, or at least seeing if I am brave enough! I don’t know the Railway tavern, or the Three Compasses, but I’l look into it. The Adam & Eve could be an amazing pub, it has bags of potential.

  6. The Wetherspoons isn’t that bad, really. I mean, it’s a Wetherspoons; they’re the McDonalds of pub chains, so you know what you’re getting. But it’s not awful.

  7. The Wetherspoons in Stoke Newington (http://www.jdwetherspoon.co.uk/home/pubs/the-rochester-castle) is a pretty amazing old pub

  8. The Chesham Arms on Mehetabel Road is worth a visit – @mark_pete used to work in there!

  9. Oh the Chesh. It’s changed management at least once since I worked there, so its gory days [sic.] may be behind it.

  10. @mark_pete I remember being in there when a guy behind the bar had a tag!

  11. Chesham arms should not be in a crap pubs crawl,it’s a lovely pub. I’m a semi regular at the Crooked Billet, it isn’t scary at all, it’s the nearest pub to me, I go maybe once a month at least.

  12. The tagged chap was a brother of one of the owners. He would switch from the front of the bar to the back just before 7pm as he had then to be \at home”. Random fact: He’d never eaten a banana. It did have the potential though to be a really nice little pub so I’m glad to hear it @marty21“

  13. What about Fitzgerald on Lower Clapton Rd http://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/fitzgeralds-london?

  14. I think I’ll give the Crooked Billet a try, thanks to @marty21. I don’t venture into Upper Clapton too often, although some friends of mine live near the Royal Sovereign, on Northwold Road. I like the Anchor and Hope down on the canal. I love the mix of people.I’ll do a bit more research so that I can formulate a pub tour. We usually do a CAMRA recommended pub tour, so this will be a pleasant change.

  15. @mark_pete I’ll always have a soft spot for the Chesham Arms – they opened up early for us, so we could have pre-wedding drinks there, we got married at Sutton House up the road.

  16. You can get married at Sutton House?! (I’m aware this is off-topic)

  17. You could in 2001, not sure if they still do marriages there. It was a lovely venue for it.

  18. Back on topic, has anyone been to the Gun on Well St?

  19. Are we going to move this to a real-life pub crawl? @alexpink I think it’s time to start mapping a route 🙂

  20. @ewebber @alexpink Real life crap pub crawl sounds great! I haven’t been the the Gun – but always intrigued by it. Has anyone been to the Cock Tavern on Mare Street? I got a fright when I clicked on it on Google maps (was checking I had the name right to mention on here as a poss crap pub candidate) and it brought up the following website http://www.cocktaverntheatre.com ‘a multi-award winning pub theatre’ and I thought, ‘Wow the pace of gentrification sure is fast… How did I not notice the Cock Tavern had turned into some kinda bourgeoise theatre…?’ till I realised it was a mistake and that pub’s in Kilburn. Phew!

  21. The Gun and the Cock (that could be a pub itself) are both on the list, as is The Albion just up the road. It would be good to start in upper clapton and work our way down to Mare St/Well St. I’ll get onto it. A multi award winning pub/theatre, wow I didn’t know such things existed. Good accidental find!

  22. Off topic again. Dee Dee you can still get married in Sutton House my friends did very recently.

  23. can it include a mandatory outfit purchased from ridley rd market? certainly help to fit in with the boozers listed so far.

  24. ‘The British Lion’ on Hackney Road

  25. The British Lion looks suitably crap, I’ll add it to the list. Thanks

  26. If you end up going to the Three Compasses on Dalston Lane be sure to walk another 5 minutes and hit The Victoria on Queensbridge Road.

  27. Ah yes, I was looking at the Victoria the other day – is that a real pub?

  28. I’m well up for @kuxi ‘s suggestion of a mandatory outfit purchased from Ridley Road Market! I have loads of clothes from there! And it would be an excuse to buy even more!

  30. What about The Dolphin on Mare Street? I remember walking past that pub one time on our way to The London Fields (which we wound up not going into anyway) and it was just all kinds of… yeah.

  31. @quitepeculiar I’ve been to the Dolphin quite a few times, it’s often full of artists, from Vyner St post first Thursdays and hipsters, post Broadway Market

  32. I hate the Cat and Mutton on Broadway Market, hipster hell.

  33. So as soon as @alexpink is back from his break and I am back in my flat, we’ll organise the first FuckYeah Hackney crap pub crawl for reals.

  34. I can stand the Dolphin, never have been able to.

  35. I can’t stand the Dolphin. Never had a problem with ‘hipsters’, just think it’s shit.

  36. It does have an amazing interior, and amazing tileshttp://www.flickr.com/photos/emilywebber/3390055801

  37. See, when I was walking past it that night, it didn’t seem full of hipsters. It seemed full of people that were likely going to shoot up the place.

  38. i hate to be the voice of dissent, but the dolphin and the windsor castkle are two pubs i have been drunk in fairly regularly. I like tyhem both. As with both Hackney Fitzgeralds and both Hackney Wetherspoons they are great pleces to get to know genuine locals. Neither are terribly plush or big on the niceties, but they are the last local hurrah for many very long term inhabitants of the borough. As long as you like listening and don’t talk poncy nonsense too much, you’ll get a great welcome if you choose to visit regularly, as well as one hell of a lot of friendly and ribald rib poking about being any of these young/female/student/emo/indie/odd/ethnic/trendy/well dressed/foreign/liverpool/chelsea/manU/tottenham/gay or just plain new…..did I mention foreign!

  39. so… quite well qualified to be on the list then really

  40. well give me the date you’ll be going then, and I’ll tell them to expect you.

  41. I’ve spent many a good night in the Dolphin…

  42. I think Dolphin is out – too trendy, we’re looking for proper boozers

  43. Oh yeah it’s defo not one for the crap pub crawl!

  44. But is one for a fun drunken night out!

  45. Hmm… maybe the people in front of The Dolphin I saw were just random whateverfolk, crowding in front of the place in-between being ejected from another pub or bar and en route to the nearest chicken shack. My impression of the place is corrected.

  46. What about The Ship on Mare St/Sylvester Path? Its not an obvious haunt as you have yo venture down a little arcade but once your in its actually alright? Really spacious too surprisingly?!

  47. If it’s alright it can’t be on a crap pub crawl! I’ve been to the Ship, it’s been done up, it’s all nice food, big sofas and wine now isn’t it?

  48. I guess it depends on what is alright. Big sofas, good food, and wine if accompanied by the assinine chitter chatter of rootless wannabes excitedly discussing the best place to get a proper indie haircut/sushi/d/dayglo tie dye trainer, might be someone else’s idea of hell.

  49. I thought we were after proper old school boozers that weren’t very good (well crap)

  50. I think you probably are. I’m just playing devils advocate. Living in London since 1978 in places as diverse as Earls Court, Maida Vale, St John’s wood, Clapham, Forest Gate …I finally found something in Hackney that isn’t so easily found eslewhere – a sense of belonging. I love Hackney’s crap boozers ( buildings and customers) so much, i no longer consider them crap.there are plenty of pubs that fit your bll. I’m keeping them to myself. 🙂

  51. I would actually class the Ship as a bit crap, but not the right kind of crap – in my opinion the refurb they did a couple of years back made it soulless and a bit annoying

  52. Haha! To be honest I’ve only ever been in there with hideous hangovers following nights at a friends place next door to the ship – just glad to have made it there alive – but yes the decor is a bit catalogue? Liking classes of crapness though!

  53. I started plotting all these venues on google maps, in preparation for the grand tour. I must finish it off.

  54. I’ve finally got round to creating a map for the crap pub crawl – fingers crossed it will workhttp://bit.ly/agL4RsFeel free to make suggestions

  55. main suggestion is – let’s not try to do them all!

  56. Sounds like fear talking 🙂

  57. I’ve created a new group for this to make it easier – http://www.fuckyeahhackney.com/groups/traditional-boozer-tour/

  58. I’d like to add the Acorn on Queensbridge Road http://www.tipped.co.uk/listings/60724/the-acorn – does anyone know anything about it?

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